Read what pundits have been saying about the uproarious comedic podcast:
Telegraph Apologises and Pays Damages to Melania Trump. For Confusing Her With Mekanika Dump – A Robot in a Comedic Podcast
The Daily Telegraph has apologised unreservedly to Melania Trump and agreed to pay her “substantial damages” for an article it published last week.
“Melania – She’s a Fucking Robot”
The paper said the article in its Saturday cover story contained a number of false statements.
The newspaper admitted it had made an error in confusing Melania Trump, the wife of the president of America with MekanikaDump, the robot wife of Donald Dump, two fictional characters in the upcoming side splitting comedic podcast MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction).
In the movie Mekanika, a sex-bot, has breasts like dials that can be set from ‘Normal’ through ‘Randy,’ ‘Horny.’ And ‘Stormy,’ to ‘Fart and Turn Over.’
The movie is a re-jig of the Dr. Strangelove theme in which Dump, with the help of shady Russian president Vladiwell Putitin, wins the US presidency, then starts a trade war with the Chinese president, Mi Hung Long.
The consequence of this results in the two world leaders being forced to ‘duke it out’ in a cage fight, in which the bewigged fat arsed US president accidentally sits on the big red button of a doomsday machine and destroys the world.
Melania Trump was said to be apoplectic about the blunder by the Telegraph and was quoted as saying, “The article rubs salt in an open wound. I was perfect for that role in the movie but they never even bothered to contact my agent.”
It’s also on record that Danny DeVito has asked to play the lead role, Donald Dump. “I got the looks, the gravitas, and a big fat ass,” said DeVito from Hollywood home, “I’m perfect for the part, and and I’m happy to wear the wig and screw the robot.”
https://www.flake.news/now/2020/10/06/trump-blames-fractious-biden-debate
Trump Blames Fractious Biden Debate On Imminent MAD Comedy Podcast
The first head to head debate between the two US presidential candidates was universally declared by political pundits and the media alike as a disaster for President Donald Trump. In a rare moment of honesty and humility the President admitted he had ‘lost his cool.’
“I was there, sure, but my mind was somewhere else,’ admitted a crestfallen Trump, ‘but my abysmal performance had nothing to do with Biden. My mind was on that Goddamned MAD podcast. If it gets aired I’ll look a complete bozo. I’ll be the laughing stock of America and beyond.”
The President went on to explain that one of his aides had informed him about the upcoming airing of the podcast just as he was entering the debating arena.
“This MAD podcast will be an electoral disaster for me,” barked the president to a wide-eyed press pack after the debate, “I’ve got Rudy Giuliani working day and night to get the frickin’ thing pulled, but so far the swivel-eyed lunatic hasn’t managed to secure an injunction.”
The MAD comedy podcast is a hilarious ten part series of audio broadcasts, each episode being a side-splitting 30 minutes long. The podcast parodies Donald Trump, his family, and other world leaders in a story that may, or may not result in Trump’s caricature, President Donald DUMP – the owner of an empire of luxury prisons fraudulently elected as the US President - bringing the world to the brink of nuclear Armageddon.
Other characters in the podcast include:
Vladiwell Putitin – The gangster president of Russia who is blackmailing Dump. Mi Hung Long – The president of China who wants to have a cage fight with Dump.
Mekanika – Dump’s sex-bot wife.
Satania – Dump’s greedy ambitious, power hungry daughter whose husband is a slithering lizard.
When asked for a comment, a deranged Giuliani mumbled, “If those thugs broadcast this MAD series it’ll finish Dump. He’ll look like an even bigger moron.”
When it was pointed out by the cub reporter from the UK comic ‘The Beano’ that he’d just referred to President Trump as ‘Dump,’ Giuliani barked, “So what? The two nitwits are virtually indistinguishable!”
Interest in the MAD podcast is reported to be astronomical, and it is expected that the series will go viral worldwide on its release. A movie and TV series is expected as a spin off. Bidding for the rights has already started between major studios, with Danny DeVito, and surprisingly the cartoon character of Peter Griffin clamouring for the lead role of President Donald Jasper Dump.
Melania Trump was asked if she had been approached to play the role of Mekanika. She replied in a simulated robotic voice, “Watch – this – space!”
https://www.flake.news/now/2020/10/24/desperate-trump-names
Desperate Trump Names ‘MAD’ Screenwriter ‘Beppo The Clown’ As New Campaign Manager
In a desperate move to salvage his presidential re-election hopes, the leader of the free world, Commander-in-Chief and self-confessed greatest man that ever lived, Donald Trump has sacked his current campaign manager. In a last ditch attempt to salvage his failing re-election campaign and win votes, Trump has appointed the man behind the upcoming podcast series MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction) and ex circus performer Beppo the sad faced clown.
“Despite my best efforts to try and come across as not insane, I’m haemorrhaging votes to Biden from the left and centre. Fortunately the dumb red necks still believe all the crap I vomit out. If it wasn’t for those well armed bozos I’d have thrown the towel in weeks ago,” said a crestfallen Trump to a hastily assembled press pack on the socially super-spreading lawn of The White House.
The president then added, “So, I’ve sacked one clown (Bill Stipien) and appointed another. Hopefully Beppo will have a better grip on reality.”
When quizzed by the cub reporter from the UK comic The Beano as to why he’d made the switch, Trump barked, “Look! I am the greatest president, lover, businessman, athlete, male model, and liar in history, fact! But the message just wasn’t getting across. Despite being a magnificent genius, people just don’t like me, the dummies! They should like me at least as much as I do. It should be the law. But we live in a so-called democracy, right? So, I have to find a way to get liked and frickin’ quick. An aide showed me a copy of the script for this new podcast, MAD. I laughed till I literally had an accident down south. Then the idea hit me. People love to laugh, right? So, if this guy was my speechwriter then I’m a shoe-in. When I found out Beppo used to be a circus clown, then it was a no-brainer. Everybody loves a circus, right?...bears on roller skates, and shit like that.”
The president went on to inform the press pack that Beppo would be starting his new role with immediate effect, then stepped down from the podium and kissed every one of the journalists in the room on the lips, quipping, “Let’s find out how infectious I really am, guys!”
The investigative journalist from the UK gardening magazine Thyme managed to track down Beppo (aka David Smith) at his home in Florida. The ex circus clown was carrying out much needed repairs on his car.
“I have to do this after every trip,” bemoaned Beppo, “For some reason the doors fall off, chickens fly out from under the engine and it belches smoke. Also, as soon as I switch the windscreen wipers on a custard pie hits me in the face.”
Wiping sloppy custard from his face, Beppo enthused about his new appointment as Trump’s campaign manager.
In a desperate move to salvage his presidential re-election hopes, the leader of the free world, Commander-in-Chief and self-confessed greatest man that ever lived, Donald Trump has sacked his current campaign manager. In a last ditch attempt to salvage his failing re-election campaign and win votes, Trump has appointed the man behind the upcoming podcast series MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction) and ex circus performer Beppo the sad faced clown.
“Despite my best efforts to try and come across as not insane, I’m haemorrhaging votes to Biden from the left and centre. Fortunately the dumb red necks still believe all the crap I vomit out. If it wasn’t for those well armed bozos I’d have thrown the towel in weeks ago,” said a crestfallen Trump to a hastily assembled press pack on the socially super-spreading lawn of The White House.
The president then added, “So, I’ve sacked one clown (Bill Stipien) and appointed another. Hopefully Beppo will have a better grip on reality.”
When quizzed by the cub reporter from the UK comic The Beano as to why he’d made the switch, Trump barked, “Look! I am the greatest president, lover, businessman, athlete, male model, and liar in history, fact! But the message just wasn’t getting across. Despite being a magnificent genius, people just don’t like me, the dummies! They should like me at least as much as I do. It should be the law. But we live in a so-called democracy, right? So, I have to find a way to get liked and frickin’ quick. An aide showed me a copy of the script for this new podcast, MAD. I laughed till I literally had an accident down south. Then the idea hit me. People love to laugh, right? So, if this guy was my speechwriter then I’m a shoe-in. When I found out Beppo used to be a circus clown, then it was a no-brainer. Everybody loves a circus, right?...bears on roller skates, and shit like that.”
The president went on to inform the press pack that Beppo would be starting his new role with immediate effect, then stepped down from the podium and kissed every one of the journalists in the room on the lips, quipping, “Let’s find out how infectious I really am, guys!”
The investigative journalist from the UK gardening magazine Thyme managed to track down Beppo (aka David Smith) at his home in Florida. The ex circus clown was carrying out much needed repairs on his car.
“I have to do this after every trip,” bemoaned Beppo, “For some reason the doors fall off, chickens fly out from under the engine and it belches smoke. Also, as soon as I switch the windscreen wipers on a custard pie hits me in the face.”
Wiping sloppy custard from his face, Beppo enthused about his new appointment as Trump’s campaign manager.
“Trump’s re-election bid is clearly going down the pipes. I will revitalize and re-energize it, and hopefully add the impetus needed to push him over the line in November.”
When pressed for details, Beppo boasted the following planned action:
A ‘hate’ campaign of fake news stories against Joe Biden. Beppo handed over a sheet of paper with his initial thoughts scribbled down in spider-like handwriting. These included the following spoof headlines:
Biden plans to nuke Santa’s grotto – don’t expect Christmas presents kids!
Biden is Putin / Hitler / Attila the Hun / Vlad the Impaler / Lex Luthor / someone even nastier ( to be determined later) in disguise.
Biden scandal! – He doesn’t pay any taxes! (may have to re-think this one).
Biden is a narcissist / megalomaniac / adulterer / nepotistic / greedy / racist / uses hookers / has affairs with adult stars / has tiny hands / lies and lies and lies and lies! (…may have to re-think this one too).
Biden looks like Jim Carrey (Haha!)
Biden had a big black fly land on his silvery hair in a televised debate! (...or was that someone else?).
Biden is made to look a complete idiot as the spoof president Donald Dump in the upcoming podcast MAD… or is that Trump?
The sad faced clown then snatched the paper back, barking, “That’s enough. I have a ton of work to do so beat it!”
Beppo then spun on his heels, accidentally put his foot in a bucket of wallpaper paste and clattered off into his house.
Presidential hopeful Joe Biden was tracked down to his nuclear bomb proof and bio-hazard secure basement shelter and asked if he was concerned about Trump’s new appointment and the impending mis-information hate campaign Beppo is planning against him.
“Beppo?” mumbled Biden, “Isn’t he that clown guy that wrote MAD? I like him. He’s funny. Can I go watch TV now?”
Desperate Trump Eats Xi Jinping Look-Alike on Stage at Nevada Rally
In a bizarre right wing rally stunt that went tragically wrong, self-proclaimed ‘greatest man that ever lived’ and Commander-in-Chief president Donald Trump ate a Xi Jinping look-alike live on stage at his latest red neck rally.
Traditionally news reporters at this point would add the phrase ‘in front of a horrified crowd’ but in this case it would not apply. Far from being repulsed, the crowd of Trump worshippers screamed, not with horror, but with delight at the president’s grossly offensive antics.
The rally, which took place in Nevada, was attended by a small but vocal bunch of Trump fanatics, each one either clutching a semi automatic rifle, a handgun, or a chubby baby. No masks were worn, though they should have been. Most of the red necks’ were butt ugly, as were their wives and kids.
Aware that his popularity is down the toilet and that he is heading for a merciless trouncing in the November election, Trump organized what should have been a poll bolstering ‘David Copperfield’ style illusion. The purpose was to reinforce his image as the international ‘hard man’ of trade.
It was planned that a Xi Jinping look-alike would walk onto the stage and start berating Trump in an argument about dumb American shavers – a theme plagiarized from the upcoming MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction) podcast.
The plan was that the Xi Jinping look-alike walks onto the stage and stands above a secret trap door. There he berates Trump for being a dumb, adulterous, narcissistic, hooker using, incompetent, racist crook. At the end of his tirade a flash cap was to explode and, hidden behind a cloud of smoke, the look-alike drops through the stage trap door.
At this point Trump was to open his mouth wide and chomp down on the diminutive Chinaman. As the smoke cleared the observer would be left with the impression that Trump had gobbled up the Chinese president in a single bite.
It was hoped that the imagery would be that Trump was the more powerful of the two great nation’s leaders should they ever have a one-on-one fight – again a theme lifted shamelessly from the imminent podcast MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction).
However, on the night two things happened simultaneously. The trap door failed to open and the flash-capsule / smoke bomb failed to ignite. The president was left standing beside the diminutive Xi Jinping look-alike who had no choice but to continue his rant, adding that Trump was an ultra-right wing supremacist who had brought the country to its knees with his abysmally incompetent handling of the Covid 19 crisis.
He further added that the ‘small handed’ stupid f*ckwit had the blood of over 220,000 American lives on his hands, and that his wife wasn’t human but a sex-bot (another theme stolen from MAD), his son-in-law Jared Kushner was a human-lizard hybrid (again pinched from MAD) and his daughter, Ivanka, was the only person on the planet that had accomplished being greedy, vain, corrupt and power hungry with being as thick as a brick – (yes, you’ve guessed it – another theme stolen from MAD).
Faced with the verbal onslaught and not wanting to look pathetic in front of his supporters, Trump had no choice but to bite down on the vertically challenged Xi Jinping look-alike.
Unfortunately, president Trump has a mouth the shape of a baboon’s butt. The consequence of this was that the president’s first bite did not completely consume the little chap. It merely took a lump out of the Chinaman’s head. The president, to avoid looking like a moron, had no choice but to continue chomping down. There followed a ten minute period of frenzied flesh tearing, bone crunching, and blood spurting at the end of which the Chinese short-ass had been completely consumed.
The crowd were in a frenzy, cheering and whooping, and would have continued like that had the president not stepped over to the microphone and crowed, “I feel so powerful I’ll walk down there and kiss everyone in that audience. I’ll kiss the guys and the beautiful women and the…everybody. I’ll give you a big fat kiss.”
At this point the president’s face and clothes were soaked in the blood from the now deceased Chinaman. Shreds of the recently departed look-alike’s flesh were still hanging from the president’s tiny, razor-sharp teeth.
There was panic in the room as the red necks, not knowing what to do, started stampeding towards the exits, firing bursts from their guns (just because they like doing that).
Following the event, Trump’s new campaign manager, Beppo the sad faced clown, was distraught when asked about the debacle. “It wasn’t supposed to go like that,” he sobbed, “It was an illusion we planned to perform at all the remaining pre-election rallies. What now? Where am I going to find another Xi Jinping look-alike? Chinamen aren’t cheap!”
On hearing of the tragedy, a bemused spokesman for Xi Jinping said, “What? He actually ate the stunt-double? No big deal. We’ve got millions more like him.”
Biden Buys Film Rights to New ‘MAD’ Movie Just to Piss Off Trump | The Spoof
MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction), a hilarious feature screenplay soon to be serialized in a ten-part podcast, has long been a thorn in President Trump’s fat thigh. The script features a parody of President Trump in the form of a character called Donald Jasper Dump.
Dump, the owner of a string of luxury prisons, steals the US presidency thanks to the help of Russian president/gangster Vladiwell Putitin. After taking office, Dump picks a fight with the Chinese president, Me Hung Long. The end result may or may not be Armageddon. You’ll have to wait till the movie is released to find out.
Trump was apparently apoplectic when he first read the script, claiming it made him look dumb and had too many long words. He has tried, on many occasions, to acquire the script himself to prevent it from ever being produced. Fortunately, for lovers of quality comedy movies and podcasts, Trump has failed in his endeavours.
Now, President Elect Biden has secured the rights from the writers, David Smith and David Tenenbaum, for an undisclosed fee.
“I’m delighted with my purchase,” crowed Biden to a hastily-assembled press pack outside his underground hermetically-sealed virus-free bunker in his garden, “I hope to have the movie in the can and ready for distribution by May 2021. So, if you thought Trump was a hapless idiotic chump before, wait till you see the movie!”
However, there is one person close to Trump who is delighted the movie is going to be made. That person is the president’s wife at the time of writing, Melania.
“In the script, Dump is married to a sex-bot called Mekanika. Joe (Biden) has kindly offered me this role and, once I scrape off the adulterous, lying, porcine narcissist I’m married to, I intend to start a new career as an actress and a robot.”
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Ex President Dump to Head Up Alternative Capitol Hill Riot Hearing
In a not very surprising move, ex President, insurgency leader and out-and-out traitor (according to Piers Morgan’s half brother’s girlfriend – official) Donald Jasper Dump has set up an alternative Capitol Riot Committee. The committee hearings will be held at Dump’s luxury prison complex on the traffic island next door to the Mar-a-Lago club in Palm Beach, Florida.
The committee has been set up by the luxury prisons magnate, ex president and self-declared fanny magnet to carry out what he calls ‘a fair, unbiased, honest, warts and all’ investigation into the events of January 6, 2020.
Speaking to a hastily assembled press pack, Dump did not hold back on his criticism of the official hearing.
“The committee set up in Washington is an absolute disgrace,” growled Dump from the can in his gold plated restroom inside his prison complex, “It’s clearly biased, with only two half assed Republicans sitting on it, a pair the party has already shunned for not kissing my ass. Whatever conclusions this enquiry will reach will be political, not factual. Is this any way to run a democracy?”
The comb over cretin then went on to describe the appointees to his independent enquiry, after first crowing that its neutrality was beyond question.
“This is how independent it is. I will not be the chair. That honour goes to my Head of Security, General Lucifer Guffaw of the Fifth Battalion of Yomping Mutineers, a man he described as ‘the best Goddam cross-dressing General in the US army.’
The golden haired baboon’s ass then named the other members of the inquiry. They were:
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Chair (man or woman?) – General Lucifer Guffaw.
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Boss of the Chair, and ultimate arbiter of what conclusions are reached – Ex President Donald Jasper Dump.
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Member – Satania Dump (favourite daughter of the ex-president)
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Member – Mekanika Dump (Wife and sex-bot to the ex-president)
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Member – Mike Dance (ex VP to the ex-president, and the only Albino negative on the panel)
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Member – Tick (a man too insignificant to have a first name, and ex-finance CEO to the Dump organization)
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Member – President Vladiwell Putitin (Russian gangster, financial backer and blackmailer of the ex-president)
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Member – Dmitri (bodyguard to Putitin)
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Member – Egor (another of Putitin’s henchmen, but dumber)
It was pointed out by the cub reporter from the UK comic The Beano that this inquiry panel was far from unbiased. What’s more it was composed entirely of Dump supporters, including Dump himself. As such it would be a foregone conclusion that Dump’s inquiry would find the ex-president entirely innocent of any wrong doing, especially incitement to riot, attempting to treasonously steal the US democracy from the American people, or doing anything wrong whatsoever…EVER!
No sooner had the words left the young lad’s lips than Dmitri and Egor grabbed the kid, and hustled him from the room for a short, sharp spot of re-education, Russian redneck style.
Nevertheless, ex-president Dump did not flinch from the criticism and faced the question square on, saying, “All the enquiry members will approach witness testimony with an open mind, showing neither fear nor favour, so you can bet your bippy our final conclusions will be the real truth of what happened on that dark day in our glorious country’s history.”
When asked by the journalist from the UK gardening magazine THYME who the witnesses would be, Dump sidestepped the question to point out that all witnesses would have to swear on the good book. He pointed out that in this case the good book was his tome, “I’m the Greatest Man that Ever Lived – FACT” by ex-president Donald Jasper Dump’s ghostwriter, Abraham Lincoln.
When further pressed on the issue, Dump snapped, “The witnesses will consist entirely of the committee members, obviously you dunce! You can’t trust any other f*cker to tell the truth.”
He then offered each journalist an advanced copy of the committee’s findings in which he is entirely exonerated from any wrongdoing whatsoever, either in the past, present or future, and that the last election results were a complete and shameful fraud, and he should be king, and blah, blah, blah.
After six hours of foul-mouthed ranting, the men in white coats arrived and gave him his injection, after which the press pack retired to the nearest bar for a well-earned drink.
